weird place

hopeful. yet helpless
feeling good. but feeling bad.
wanting to break free. but feeling trapped.
same cycles of behavior.
constant depression.
perfecting my mask.
begging for someone to come in. yet keeping everyone away.
longing for love. belonging. a home.
where do i fit?
maybe i don't.
like that odd sock that was rescued from the dryer.
wanting to move forward. but stuck in the past.
guilty.
ashamed.
jumbled thoughts.
tears that refuse to fall.
in a weird place.
breathe.