My future...as seen through the eyes of Mrs. Lacey♥

Well first, sorry for lack of updates. Haven't quite felt like blogging lately & also I feel like most of my thoughts aren't appropriate for the public. Not like I'm a psychopath or anything, just private thoughts that I choose not to share at this time. LOL. Anywho....the topic at hand!

If you know me, you know that I've spent a while trying to figure out what my next step in life is going to be. So far, I've gotten some things worked out (still in the planning stages). But my good friend Shir-wanda Lacey has made it a mission to plan out the lives of her friends...I wasn't exempt. I gave her some of my goals/aspirations & some hobbies and she came up with a plan....I'd like to share it with you all.

"So u will begin working for the International Gay & Lesbian Association as an activist. During a rally, you will meet ur future husband Kevin who will be participating in the movement to support his gay brother Juan. He will court you and you will marry on June 9, 2012. Approximately 7 months later, you two will become preggers with your first child. You will continue working as an activist until you are 7 months, where then you will take time off to ready the home (that you purchased w/ Kevin shortly after the wedding) for the birth of your baby girl (I'll let you name her lol).

Once the baby is born, you will become a full time photographer, and the baby will be your muse. Your pictures of baby girl Mackell will be so extraordinary that magazines will pay to purchase them. Baby girl Mackell's picture will wind up in a magazine that will be viewed by a young black girl who needs guidance. She will see more of your pics and eventually write you to express her admiration of your work. You will set up a meeting w/ the young lass and she will tell you about her struggle as a young black girl and you will become her mentor. You & Kevin will then create a foundation dedicated to guiding the youth, and it will be very profitable. You will retire from photography at about 45 and spend majority of your time working w/ the foundation. Your life will be very fulfilling :-D The end lol"

 hahahahahahahaha i absolutely LOVE this chick!!!!! Sounds like a wonderful life plan to me♥ Hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did!

Step out......

“Great things happen when we follow God outside of our comfort zones. When we trust what we know to be true about Him and choose to ignore our feelings of insecurity or fear, God can take us to places we never dreamed we could go. It was only after God brought me to a place where I didn’t want to be that He could take me to a place I truly longed to be.” ~~via SheSeeks devotional

It’s no secret (if you know me) that I’m not where I’d like to be in my walk with Christ. But it still amazes me that he is able to speak to me & comfort me even through my mess. I’m not very consistent in my devotional time (definitely something I’m working on), but it seems like when I do take the time to sit & read, something jumps out at me. I’m so glad that this was another one of those times.

Had a talk with my fave a few days ago about a few things & one of those things was abt my insecurities & how it’s stopping me from truly living the life that I’ve always envisioned having. I mean, yes I’ve accomplished things, and done things. But I feel as if I’m not living up to my complete potential. So the devotional this morning kind of stamped the fact that I really need to step outside of my comfort zone. & trust that God has my back. If I step outside of my comfort zone & get hurt or things don’t go the way I "planned" (bcuz we all know that your plan is not neccessarily God's plan), I need to rely on the knowledge that God is there with a band-aid & open arms, letting me know that it’s ok…keep moving forward. Fall 99 times GET UP 99 times!! But the worse thing to do is nothing. Stagnation = death.

Ok, so while writing this blog. God smacked me again with another confirmation. Took a break to check my twitter & what was the first tweet I saw:

“Be fearless! Step outside of your comfort zone. Everything you want is just on the otherside of it!”

I COULDN’T MAKE THIS STUFF UP IF I TRIED!! Talk about confirmation!!!! God you are truly amazing. I don’t praise you enough just for simply being who you are. You didn’t have to love me. Make provisions for me. Keep me safe. But you do. No matter how many times I treat you poorly, no matter how many times I ignore you, you always show me that, you haven’t gone anywhere. I love you so much God. My heart is truly filled right now. So many things I want to do. So many places I want to go. A Monique that I want to be! But have always hidden behind that cloak of fear, insecurity, & inferiority. BUT GOD! My God said, he made me to be MORE than that! MY GOD is bigger than my fears. MY GOD is bigger than my insecurities. MY GOD is bigger than that voice in my head that says “Monique, you are NOT good enough” MY GOD!
*Grabs helmet. Elbow pads. Knee pads. Safety Goggles* Ok God…I’m ready! Let’s do this……*takes first step out*

bye bye weight watchers

oh & i'm not doing weight watchers anymore...sooo we're gonna see how this next leg of the journey goes w/o it. i've learned a lot in the last 6months & i'm just hoping w/my knowledge. google. & my Lose It app that i'll still be able to yield the same results....i'll keep ya posted (as usual)

I didn't see it before today

Was going thru old photos trying to find a new FB default. & came upon a pic that i took @ the end of July last year. And i can honestly say without a shadow of a doubt that i will no longer downplay my weight loss. There's a noticeable difference. I couldn't tell from looking in the mirror, I couldn't even tell from my "progress pics"...but i can definitely tell from this pic. My how a year changes things....(imagine where i'd be now had i started trying to lose weigh prior to February?!?!) Hope you guys can see it too. If not...i don't care lol. I see it & that's all that matters♥ [[sorry for the quality of the pics]]

August 2010 (sorry it's blurry)

please ignore the ferocious bush. it was a phase (July 2009)

2o questions.....

will i ever find tru love?
have i already found it?
is marriage in my future?
what about a baby?
babies?
will i ever reach my goal weight?
will i be able to stay there?
will my personality change when that happens?
will i ever have the close relationship w/God I so desire?
what career will i eventually choose?
will i enjoy it?
will i excel at it?
will i one day be where i want to be financially?
am i ever gonna grow my hair back?
will i ever have a social circle like on Sex & the city? Living single? Golden girls?
will tru happiness ever come?
will i ever stop comparing myself to those around me?
will i ever realize how much i'm TRULY worth?